2026 Season Auditions

A Neil Simon Comedy, Directed by Jeffrey Basset

Synopsis 

At a large, tastefully-appointed Sneden's Landing townhouse, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself. Though it's only a flesh wound, Charlie Brock's self-inflicted injury sets off a series of events causing four couples to experience a severe attack of farce.

As the tenth wedding anniversary party commences, they scramble to get “the story” straight before the other guests arrive. As the confusions and miscommunications mount, the evening spins off into classic farcical hilarity.

Preparation:    

Audition sides from the script. There are no appointments needed.  Please, no monologues. 

Contact:  

For more information, or to arrange a different date and time for auditions, please contact Jeffrey Bassett at jeffrey@jeffreymichael.com

Please place “Audition PGT” in the subject line of your email.

If cast, please do not make a commitment to another show while you are involved in RUMORS without consulting the director.

Characters: 

Chris  Gorman: An elegant and attractive woman in her mid-30s, she is Ken's  wife. Chris is neurotic and easily flustered, often trying to maintain  control amidst the chaos of the evening.

Ken  Gorman: Chris's husband, a well-spoken lawyer in his late 30s. He takes  charge of the situation but becomes almost deaf after an accident with a  shotgun, leading to comedic misunderstandings.

Claire  Ganz: Lenny's wife, in her late 30s to early 40s. Claire is a  sharp-witted gossip who is concerned with appearances and enjoys the  unfolding drama around her.

Lenny  Ganz: Claire's husband, an accountant in his late 30s to early 40s. He  is irascible, sarcastic, and very likable, often providing comic relief  with his foul-mouthed humor.

Ernie  Cusack: A smug psychiatrist in his 40s to 50s, he is one of the guests  at the party. His character adds to the comedic tension as he tries to  analyze the situation.

Cookie  Cusack: Ernie's wife, a cooking show host with a dramatic personality.  She has a bad back and adds to the physical comedy of the play (NOTE:   character often crawls on stage)

Glenn  Cooper: An ambitious politician preparing for a run for the state  senate, he is polished and charismatic, but his relationship with his  wife is strained.

Cassie  Cooper: Glenn's trophy wife, in her late 20s to early 30s. She is  jealous and insecure, often arguing with Glenn, which adds to the  comedic tension of the evening.

Officer  Welch: A veteran police officer who arrives at the scene, adding to the  complications as the characters try to conceal the events of the night.

NOTE:   The age ranges above are as described by the author. Please do not let  these deter you from auditioning for any of the roles.